★ Unwilling.
Can you hear me crying out loud ?
Can you hear me screaming out your name ?
I'll pick you up when you fall down and when you're lost, i'll find you.
All i wanted was to hold you close in my heart.
But its seems like im trap in the middle of the sea........
I search high and low, everywhere. Throughout my cupboard, eagerly to find that until i didnt realise myself that i was making a huge mess in my room. Only to realise now that i finally found the picture i was looking for, it was stuck near my bed. Right beside the soft teddy bear name booboo. When i look back, through all those pictures i printed out. Every little thing in the past, came back to me. All those good times and throughout the bad times came back, i began to lose my heart in everything and dissolved into tears. I knew i was missing you so badly but still i pretended that i wasnt. Cause i wanted you to find me, i didnt want to depend on you so much, expecting so much from you. I didnt want you to think that im weak, that i've always search for you whenever i was in need. Only to realise now, i was foolish, i didnt have anyone to turn to. You're always been with your friends, i understand that they're important to you. But atleast try to earn some time for me.
Despite just being left half dead, i spent so much time doing things on my own. Its really surprising though that i spent most of my time being alone. It feels empty. I began to lose my heart on everything and dissolved into tears. When i walked around, see all those young couples together. Jealousy strikes me and it reminds me of you. Who everyday brightens up my day and never fail to paint a smile on my face. But now, it seems so different. Every little steps i took to achieve happiness, it always comes down with another bad thing. tell me, where have i ever gone wrong ? I just realise that things dont always come with luck. I dont believe at times like this you're here to see whats happening. I doubt you even know how its like to be me. How stressful, how painful, how emotional i've been lately.
Though, you're so far away, im trying hard to believe that you're still there for me.
Today's friday the thirteen, memories flash back into my mind. I miss the old times with dyla, fate and shabby. You girls were my heroine. Not for long until now, things starts to drift apart. But your presence are felt. Thanks for the little times we used to share. I hope it comes back. SO, tomorrow is Valentines day, i've no idea if im actually celebrating it or not. Doesnt matter much, cause i didnt planned anything for it. Today's school was a disaster, everywhere i go, i see flowers. Must be lucky ey to received such things but i didnt. Cause obviously my boyfriend isnt in the same school as me. Anyway, tomorrow is seri's and hannah's birthday. Just look forward for my birthday wish alright. :D
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