Love Dust

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Sery Ziey..;

20, Student/Performer.
Singaporean, East Side
A simple girl you know but im someone else too. (:
These posts you read is 20% of my life, So please don't be too quick to judge me.

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DON'T OPEN MY PAGE SOURCE! YOU HAVE A BRAIN ? BE YOUR SELF .
Pictures; Weheartit and Tumblr.
Basecode By; Ken
Skin By; Kai

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Posted On Friday, January 2, 2009 @ 7:11 PM by Yourname | 0 Comments This Entry

The moment i step onto the school again, i felt something was missing. You, edaah, you're missing. Im afraid that this year will be the year, i wont have you to guide me around anymore. But you told me once, that i'll have to strive to the end no matter how hard it takes. And i will. I'll do my best for what ever it takes to take me even further in my journey. I miss making funny jokes with you, laugh with all those crap things we do, make stupid faces at each other, sharing secrets and every little thing we do each day in school. :( I guess, arina will have to replace you in school.

Going to school for the first day is like going to hell. They made us think that going to secondary five would be worst than it would be. Yes, i must agree. Its even harder than N-level. But it wont hurt to persevere and give the very best shot for O-level. We've made the agreement that we'll do even better than last year, what more can you asked for. After recess, Mr anuar was lecturing the sec5 about our attire and us wandering around. Well, its the first day of school, what'd you expect. -.-

There would be only two classes for sec5 this year, and mine happen to be in the second class, five years straight in the row, always in second class. Miss Chin, our form teacher and Mr hanif, co-form teacher. Mubarak was voted to be the class manager and Farah, the assistant class manager. Amos and Fazli are the key managers. lol. Starting from monday, we'll end school at 3.30 except tuesday, at 2pm. I got to push myself a little harder this year.

There's a certain student which happen to have the same class as me, im not yet close to. But im hoping to be even closer with you all in the next few months coming around. Im sure we'll make a great big family class of 5N1. :D


I may get too emo in this, stop reading if you cant take it.

I owned so few friends, and i dont know who else i could talked to. It seems that i've lost everything. I dont wanna talked things out with any of them, so therefore, i'll just write to you, blog. Since you're the only place where i can let my feelings flow freely.

I dont wanna worry my boyfriend so much by telling him how i feel and all. Cause he have done so much for me. And i really thanks him for his presence.....

....And my friends, i cant be too selfish to only wanting their advice, so, im letting them go freely. Now, im on my own. Im facing my own feelings myself.

Here it goes, blog.

Everyone's always turned their back on me for every little thing i do or say. I maybe so weak in the inside, but i always try to stay strong on the outside. I've always encourage myself to stay strong and relaxed at all times. But some people just keeps hurting me in the inside. Keeps shouting, screaming into my ear drums. Scold me upside down and starts pushing me around.
And when someone asked me if im okay, i'll just answer back that im okay. But that person knows nothing about how im feeling deep inside, that im actually not okay. And i want that person to asked again, 'tell me the truth, are you okay?" It feels much more better when someone says that. Cause i know that person knows me better than the rest.

I've messed things up in my whole entire life. Sometimes i feel as though theres nothing more goods for my living. I've made many regrets in my life, but i blamed myself for all those crimes. Im not a good person after all, but atleast im trying to be one. But no one believe i could be. They only think im good for nothing. It maybe partially true, cause i dont have any supports from anyone.

Now, im facing my greatest fear, my pain. Every night, i'll lie on my bed, thinking why things are so hard to explain. I'll start crying and crying for this painful things wont stop hurting me. Sometimes i imagine myself, late at night, pulling a knife out of the drawer and slit through my wrist. Lose so many blood and die peacefully. But that's just on my mind. Indeed in reality, i'll just get stuck with my spirits wandering around. That wont happen anyway.

I just couldnt stand any longer of this pain. I just feel like running away, to the middle of nowhere.

I'll end here, blog. Cause a space inside my heart, thats feel with emptiness.