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Looks up. It has been already some time since we last hang out together. Im serious looking forward to meet these girlfriends and rockers. Heartsss put me in charge of the votes on class chalet/pit. I went around to asked and they told me she had already asked. So, i found out that there are 12 votes on chalet, 3 votes on pit, seven pending and 4 votes wants to be on the majority group. Which makes 16 votes for chalet. So, chalet it is.
The good thing about chalet is that, they provide a shutter bus there. And when it rains, we have shelters, dont we. We can even hang around at the swimming pool or take a quick nap before the others arrived. we also need a sink, to washed up our hands and a toilet. we dont need to wander around to find toilet if we're going to do a pit. and if it rains, there wont be a pit somehow. (?)
Finally i'll get to see you guys in the next summer months, i guess. Its dissapointing that i called myself a friend to you, but i never tried to call and asked how are things going on with you. even on msn, i seldom open up conversations. maybe im just shy, or i dont have that in mind to talk or chat with you. pfft.
some friend i am.
just some what kind of friend, i am....
so dissapointing
Good news, my long lost sister has finally come back from her vacation, yogjakarta. Welcome back honey. We'll hit the mall once i finally get over with my lil brother. So, hang on to your sit belt, hani and ain, we're gonna shop till we drop.
Bad news is that im going to miss everyone, especially boyfriend. It was suppose to be a holiday for me, and i dont feel like im having. Im stuck at home, i couldnt even run away from these annoying kid. Some kind of babysitting. Well, hes not a baby. hes eight years old. only that i pitied him, he couldnt even be independent on his ownself. and im so ashamed to admit that hes my younger brother. life is unfair, i tell you. nothing in this world you ever wish for, will ever come true. no one would give you a helping hand, and tell you that they'll help. they only care about themselves. even i feel sorry for myself. Cause im just a kid, im only sixteen. i too cant help people who felt ashamed for themself like how i feel right now.
Some times you just got to stop what you're doing and think wisely of what's gonna happen to you next. Think of what you want your story to end with and how you want things to be in your own way. i've fail to succeed my story life. and i dont know where to begin and end it with.
and then, i realise how stupid my thinking is right now, right here. like im talking to myself?
why'd i even bother to update you, blog. to tell the whole people how foolish i am right now?
i dont even know why im updating you. and i feel really stupid about this.
im so so upset and pissed off these days. it makes me feel like i should just go to my room and lock myself up for the whole day. start crying when i feel left alone while jumping up and down on my bed, try to fall off on my own. i feel like banging my head on the wall, slit my wirst in every direction as i cut them deep until my blood flows no more. i dont feel alive anymore. my feelings weaken my body as i drown myself in them.
and i dont think i even make any sense of what im saying, i dont fcuking understand myself. and i fcuking dont give a fcuk of what im tryin to say....?
i've lose my mind. dont bother me.
......and all i need now, is you, baby you.
i need you to stay close with me, and never let me go.
please, just a little while more ?
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